My Fantasy Fellow Jurors

Yesterday, I had jury duty and found Rumer Willis in my jury pool. This got me fantasizing about being on a jury panel full of famous people. Who would I want on there?

After some deliberating (I had a lot of time to kill), I came up with this list of 11 people I’d like to serve with and why:

1. Chuck Norris, because if anybody tried to bullshit him, he’d roundhouse them in the head.
2. Simon Baker, because he can read minds like he does on The Mentalist and tell when someone’s lying. OK, that’s reaching but c’ mon, it’s Simon Baker. Do I need to explain why I want to be sequestered with him?
3. Bono, because he seems to have a strong desire to do the right thing. Plus, he can lend me his shades so I can sleep through boring testimony.
4. Tina Fey, because she’s smart and sharp-witted so she’d make deliberations fun.
5. Jesus, because who would lie to Jesus?
6. J.K. Rowling, because she knows about good vs. evil. Also, she might write the plot of her next book on lunch napkins and leave them lying around.
7. Speaking of lunch, I’d want Wolfgang Puck, because he’d take the crappy food in the courthouse cafeteria and turn it into something edible. Yesterday, my beef stew looked like it had floating chunks of…never mind.
8. Cate Blanchett, because I just want to sit next to her amazingness.
9. Ann Coulter, because if deliberations go long and I get cranky, I want someone around I can slap without remorse.
10. George Clooney, because I want to dare him into placing a whoopee cushion on the judge’s chair.
11. Bruce Springsteen, because he’s the Boss and can serve as foreman.

Who would be on your fantasy jury panel and why?

2009 Golden Globes Fashion Round-Up

OK, more “Nerdies” to hand out, this time for fashion.

Best Dressed (Female): Three-way tie for me between House‘s Olivia Wilde, lovely in a lavender gown that looked like cotton candy…Drew Barrymore, whose dress looked as ethereal as a cloud (though the hair made her look a little old)…
and Mad Men‘s January Jones, who looked very Grace-Kelly-winning-an-Oscar-for-The-Country-Girl in her ice-blue, backless gown.

Best Dressed (Male): Tie between Simon Baker and Tom Cruise. Their tuxes were beautifully cut and everything was in its place. Cruise looked like he’d had a facial, his pores were so tight.

Appearance that Scared Me Most (Male): Sting. With the full brown beard and brown hair, the usually sexy rock star looked like he’d been living in the woods and wrestling with bears. I’d say, “Don’t stand so close to me,” ’cause he might try to gnaw off my left arm.

Appearance that Scared Me Most (Female): Renee Zellweger. I love Renee and she usually looks great in Carolina Herrera but I don’t know what to make of this. I’ve heard of backless dresses but not frontless ones. I can see her granny bra.

Best Dressed, Under 20 Years Old: Rumer Willis, who actually looked great in red hair and a burgundy gown. (While she was interviewed by Ryan Seacrest on E!, the channel ID’d her as “Rumor.”)

Least Successful Attempt by an Over-20-Year-Old to Look Under 20: Cameron Diaz in this cutesy pink dress. She looks like she’s trying to be Dakota Fanning.

Most Confusing Animal Print: Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don’t know about you but I’ve never seen a blue leopard.

Most Eco-Friendly: Rachel Griffiths. She recycled a brown paper bag by wearing it as a dress.

Most Likely to Glow in the Dark: Amy Adams. Her skin is so luminous she seemed to radiate light.

Most Likely to See Her Business Go Through the Roof: Lorraine Schwartz. It seemed like every other star was wearing her beautiful, unique jewelry—Beyonce, Christina Applegate, Elizabeth Banks. My faves were the pink earrings designed especially for Jennifer Morrison’s dress and Amy Adams’s green earrings, which were striking against her red hair.

Most Likely to be a Donor for Beaver Tail Transplants: Debra Messing. She has gorgeous hair but this ponytail is a little too big for me.

Who did you think look the best? Which outfits made you wonder if the celebs got dressed in the dark? Which stars surprised you most with their fashion choices? Leave a comment and discuss!