Celebrities Say DON’T Vote in PSA (video)

Have you seen this video? It’s a PSA with Harrison Ford, Julia Roberts, Will Smith, Justin Timberlake, Tom Cruise, Scarlett Johansson and a bunch of others trying to use reverse psychology to get people to vote, not one way or another, just vote. I thought it was hilarious because they’re having a hard time saying, “DON’T vote.” Plus, Borat is in it.

What do you think–is it funny, effective, stupid?

Entertainment News Roundup–Score or Snore?

This is the first in a weekly feature called “Scores and Snores,” a roundup of entertainment news where you decide if it’s good news (Score!) or bad (Snore). Vote and see if others agree with you and check back next week for more! ***SOME SPOILERS***

HEARTLAND fan in Shondaland?

I had a weird deja vu moment last night watching Grey’s Anatomy. One of the plots was about a bunch of people donating kidneys to complete strangers so that their loved ones, with whom they didn’t match as donors, could receive kidneys from the recipients’ loved ones. Got that?

I did. As soon as Bailey started explaining the complicated procedure, I said, “It’s called domino transplants,” minutes before Izzie identified it as such. No, I’m not a doctor. I knew because last year, I guest-starred on a TNT show called Heartland (starring Treat Williams and Kari Matchett) in an episode that dealt with this exact thing. I played one of the donors, Mrs. Chan. Last night, one of the donors was named Mrs. Chen. At one point, my character bailed, putting the whole procedure into jeopardy. Last night, one of the wives backed out, too, until Bailey changed the woman’s mind.

When Chief Webber called this procedure “historic,” I wanted to say, “It was done a year ago by a basic cable show!”

I guess there really are only 7 original ideas in Hollywood.

Watch the Season 3 Premiere of 30 ROCK Here! (video)

Can’t wait until 30 Rock comes back for its third season next Thursday, October 30? Thanks to TV Guide, you can watch the entire episode here for free! This was worth the wait. Written by the indomitable Tina Fey, it made me laugh out loud, brings Jack back to New York and Will Arnett as Devon is more out of control than ever.

If you can’t watch the video for some reason, here’s a recap. ***SPOILERS!!***

 

The first scene is of Liz walking confidently down the street, looking and feeling good. A limo with dark windows pulls up alongside and a man calls out, “Hello, Pussycat!” Liz launches into a retort until the window rolls down and she realizes it’s Jack. The look on her face is precious—she’s like a little girl who got just what she wanted for Christmas.

Jack gets out of the limo, they do an awkward, non-hug thing and walk together to 30 Rock. Devon’s in charge of the company now but Jack is determined to get his job back. Not so fast—Devon gives him a position in the mailroom. Jack says he worked his way up through the company before; he’ll do it again and thinks it’ll only take him nine years this time as opposed to twenty-three. By mid-morning, he’s already gotten his first promotion to Head Mailroom Guy.

Meanwhile, Liz is putting on a “better than myself” facade for Bev (guest star Megan Mullally), the adoption agency rep who’s doing an in-home inspection to determine Liz’s viability for single parenthood. The inspection continues into the work place, where Liz’s staff give her not-so-helpful character references. All this dovetails with Liz trying to help Jack decide if he should just go ahead and “debase” himself by “giving his gift” to Kathy Geiss in order to get his job back. It’s for the good of the company, since Devon seems to have completely lost his sanity, planning to quadruple profits by shutting down the company so that demand for lightbulbs would rise.

Lots more antics ensue before Jack gets hired as Kathy’s private business consultant and the ep ends with a sweet moment between Liz and Jack. This mix of sweetness and zaniness is what makes the show the funniest sitcom currently on TV (the other would be Flight of the Conchords, on hiatus until next year).

My favorite lines:

• “That information is classified, at least until Cheney dies, which is going to be a long time from now. That man’s mostly metal.” —Jack’s reply to Liz when asked how he got out of his government job.
• “I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider them erotica.” —Liz to Jack about how she prepared her apartment for the adoption-agency rep’s visit. “That man can wear a sweater,” Jack replies.
• “Can I hide this box of penis pasta in your dressing room?” —Liz to Jenna before Bev the rep comes to inspect Liz’s office.
• “She touched me in my swimsuit area.”—Jack to Liz about Kathy Geiss.
• “Have you ever been sexually harassed? Of course not.” —Jack to Liz.
• “Tomorrow, I’ll show up dressed as a Mexican wrestler.” —fellow mailroom guy to Jack after Jack tells him he must dress for the job he wants, not the one he has.
• “It’s just G now, Jack. I sold the E to Samsung. They’re Samesung now.”—Devon explaining to Jack how he’s helped GE’s profit margin.
• “I think adoption’s a wonderful thing. Three of my nine siblings were adopted and one day, I hope to find them.”—Kenneth to Bev.
• “I first met Liz in ‘93, when she was fresh out of college and I’d just broken up with O.J. Simpson.”—Jenna to Bev.
• “Me and her go away back like spinal cords and car seats.”—Tracy giving Liz a character reference
• “That’s the lip gloss she put on me so I could be her fancy boy.”—Jack to Liz about the humiliation he must endure with Kathy in order to get his job back.

Rating: Brilliant

One Cool Ride with Don Winslow’s THE DAWN PATROL

My friend Betsy had been recommending Don Winslow’s The Dawn Patrol to me for a few months but I’d resisted ’cause I found out it was about surfing. I’ve never surfed, don’t know anything about it, am afraid of big waves and didn’t think I’d want to read about a bunch of surfer dudes. Boy, was I wrong. I finally picked up the book and, like a big wave, it slammed into me, rolled me a few times and didn’t let me up for air until two days later.

Boone Daniels and his five friends make up the Dawn Patrol, a group of surfers (five guys, one girl) who meet every morning at dawn to tackle the waves at Pacific Beach in San Diego. Then the others go off to “real” jobs while Boone moonlights as a private investigator, but only enough to afford fish tacos on flour tortillas because “everything tastes better on a tortilla.” He takes a supposedly easy case—locating a missing stripper who was supposed to testify in a major trial—but finds out a little girl has also gone missing. This brings back memories of the case which resulted in Boone’s quitting the San Diego Police Department, one involving a missing little girl he was unable to find. Boone is determined not to fail this time and as he gets farther into the investigation, it forces him to choose sides and do things that might ruin the brotherhood of the Dawn Patrol.

Though the subject matter turns out to be heart shattering, the book has many hilarious moments. The scene where the gang takes one of its members, Hang Twelve, to a strip club for his birthday made me laugh out loud. “Naked asses” and “buffet” really should never be in the same sentence. Everyone in the patrol is funny, compelling and cooler than cool but their easy, jokey banter belies the fact they would fiercely watch each other’s back.

My friend Betsy with Winslow

The thing I love about Winslow’s breezy style is that he paints clear pictures in succinct strokes. In describing a man about to be attacked by thugs in his home, Winslow writes, “He’s on his third Corona when the door comes in.” He also pulls off something I’ve never seen before—a complete sentence consisting only of the same word repeated three times as subject-verb-object, as in the final sentence here: “Now he drives his truck…with his best friend in the back, a man who is like family to him. But like ain’t is. Is is is.”

Winslow is so good with his prose, he even makes the history behind the surf culture interesting. Normally, I would’ve skipped over these sections to get to the whodunit but with Winslow, you don’t want to miss a word because none is wasted.

Rating: Brilliant

WHAT JUST HAPPENED with Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Bruce Willis

When I was invited last week to a screening of What Just Happened (limited release, Oct. 17), my first reaction was, “What the who?” Though the movie was directed by Barry Levinson (Diner, Rain Man) and stars Robert De Niro, Bruce Willis, Sean Penn, Robin Wright Penn, John Turturro and Catherine Keener, I hadn’t seen any publicity or even heard of it. Usually this is a sign a film is a turkey and the studio is trying to dump it. Well, Happened is not a dud but its fate might still resemble one of the movies within this movie if the studio doesn’t get behind it.

De Niro plays Ben, a harried producer trying to wrap post-production on one film (Fiercely, starring Penn) while preparing for start of production on another, starring Bruce Willis (playing an ass version of himself). Fiercely’s director, Jeremy (Michael Wincott), is an infantile, drug-addled poseur who thinks being edgy means ending his film with a dog being shot multiple times. The studio head (Keener) wants a different ending or else she’ll can the Cannes premiere and dump the movie.

Meanwhile, on Ben’s other film, Willis has gained a lot of weight and a Grizzly Adams beard he refuses to shave (this is supposedly based on Alec Baldwin, who refused to shave for producer Art Linson’s 1997 movie The Edge). The studio threatens to shut down production if Ben can’t persuade Willis to look like a movie star. Ben’s also juggling couples therapy with his second ex-wife (Wright Penn) to learn how to be “so happy apart, [they'll] never want to get back together,” while making time to drive all his kids to school.

The movie is based on Linson’s book of the same name, subtitled Bitter Hollywood Tales from the Front Line. Linson (Into the Wild, Fight Club) also wrote the script here so it’s no surprise De Niro is a sympathetic alter ego. Ben drives a Porsche SUV and lives in a nice home with fancy toys but we see the price he pays for all that and not once did I envy his life. If you’ve ever wondered exactly what a producer does, this movie gives a glimpse. He’s a mediator, hand holder, babysitter, bullshit talker all in one.

The movie has some very funny moments poking fun at the ridiculous behavior of some Hollywood denizens. Willis is obviously having fun playing an over-the-top diva version of himself but I’ve seen people behave this way so maybe it’s not so satirical. And the shooting-the-dog ending is ludicrous but you suspect some real-life director has tried getting away with it while claiming indie cred.

The all-star cast turns in solid work as expected but besides Ben, there isn’t anyone to really root for. We laugh but don’t empathize. The question is: Will people outside Hollywood be amused or disgusted by all the imbecilic, narcissistic behavior? My guess—if you find Entourage funny, you might enjoy this film. If you think Ari Gold is a pig, go see something else that doesn’t include bloody dog corpses.

Rating: Okay